In preparation for the release of Seinfeld on Netflix, I have revisited my list and am starting to fill out some more details. I have also decided to reorganize the list and order the episodes by season, rather than alphabetically. Enjoy!
| Season 1 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "The Seinfeld Chronicles" | Almost Clean | |
| 2 | "The Stake Out" | Almost Clean | adult video discussed in first scene, Jerry calls himself a j....ss |
| 3 | "The Robbery" | Not Clean | opening routine about the middle finger, mention of sexual activity in the tub |
| 4 | "Male Unbonding" | Almost Clean | worst words to hear are "who's bra is this?" |
| 5 | "The Stock Tip" | Not Clean | weekend trip with gf |
| Season 2 | |||
| 1 | "The Ex-Girlfriend" | Not Clean | |
| 2 | "The Pony Remark" | Almost Clean | George mentions "never having sex again." |
| 3 | "The Jacket" | Almost Clean | Elaine's father says sob |
| 4 | "The Phone Message" | Not Clean | going up for "coffee" |
| 5 | "The Apartment" | Not Clean | |
| 6 | "The Statue" | Almost Clean | 1 reference to sex |
| 7 | "The Revenge" | Not Clean | Elaine flirts about being naked everywhere and sleeping around |
| 8 | "The Heart Attack" | Not Clean | |
| 9 | "The Deal" | Not Clean | Plot revolves around Jerry and Elaine sleeping together after seeing porn |
| 10 | "The Baby Shower" | Not Clean | Mention of nudity and "lovin'" in play, nudity on TV |
| 11 | "The Chinese Restaurant" | Almost Clean | George describes fooling around with Tatiana |
| 12 | "The Busboy" | Not Clean | Plot with Elaine revolves around guy staying with her. |
| Season 3 | |||
| 1 | "The Note" | Not Clean | Plot with George revolves around him feeling something sexual when massaged by a man |
| 2 | "The Truth" | Not Clean | |
| 3 | "The Pen" | Clean | |
| 4 | "The Dog" | Clean | |
| 5 | "The Library" | Not Clean | |
| 6 | "The Parking Garage" | Almost Clean | Urinating in public, mention of "your mother is a whore" as the final punchline in last monologue. |
| 7 | "The Café" | Clean | |
| 8 | "The Tape" | Not Clean | Plot revolves around tape with erotic message on it |
| 9 | "The Nose Job" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Stranded" | Not Clean | |
| 11 | "The Alternate Side" | Not Clean | h word, mention of sex with older man |
| 12 | "The Red Dot" | Not Clean | sex with the cleaning lady |
| 13 | "The Subway" | Not Clean | |
| 14 | "The Pez Dispenser" | Almost Clean | mention of getting some "hand" |
| 15 | "The Suicide" | Almost Clean | mention of swimsuit models nude, couple moving in together |
| 16 | "The Fix-Up" | Not Clean | |
| 17 | "The Boyfriend" | Not Clean | what the h are you two talking about, d word, sex with tall women |
| 18 | "The New Friend" | Not Clean | part 2 of above |
| 19 | "The Limo" | Almost Clean | a word |
| 20 | "The Good Samaritan" | Not Clean | |
| 21 | "The Letter" | Not Clean | |
| 22 | "The Parking Space" | Almost Clean | a word |
| 23 | "The Keys" | Almost Clean | Kramer and girl in Jerry's bedroom, h word, Kramer flirting with truck driver |
| Season 4 | |||
| 1 | "The Trip (Part 1)" | Almost clean | Skip the first scene |
| 2 | "The Trip (Part 2)" | Clean | |
| 3 | "The Pitch" | Almost Clean | 1 reference to masturbation |
| 4 | "The Ticket" | Almost Clean | 1 reference to masturbation |
| 5 | "The Wallet" | Almost Clean | sexual references |
| 6 | "The Watch" | Not Clean | |
| 7 | "The Bubble Boy" | Not Clean | premise of unmarried couples travelling for the weekend, suggestion of Elaine sleeping naked with Jerry |
| 8 | "The Cheever Letters" | Not Clean | |
| 9 | "The Opera" | Clean | |
| 10 | "The Virgin" | Not Clean | |
| 11 | "The Contest" | Not Clean | plot centers around masturbation |
| 12 | "The Airport" | Almost Clean | first scene mentions "cheap hooker", model describes photoshoot |
| 13 | "The Pick" | Not Clean | |
| 14 | "The Movie" | Not Clean | |
| 15 | "The Visa" | Almost Clean | 1 reference to sex |
| 16 | "The Shoes" | Not Clean | |
| 17 | "The Outing" | Not Clean | |
| 18 | "The Old Man" | Not Clean | |
| 19 | "The Implant" | Not Clean | |
| 20 | "The Junior Mint" | Almost Clean | female body parts |
| 21 | "The Smelly Car" | Not Clean | |
| 22 | "The Handicap Spot" | Almost Clean | s o b |
| 23-24 | "The Pilot" | Not Clean | |
| Season 5 | |||
| 1 | "The Mango" | Not Clean | |
| 2 | "The Puffy Shirt" | Not Clean | |
| 3 | "The Glasses" | Almost Clean | one use of s o b in the last line of the show |
| 4 | "The Sniffing Accountant" | Not Clean | |
| 5 | "The Bris" | Not Clean | |
| 6 | "The Lip Reader" | Not Clean | d word, mixing up six and sex |
| 7 | "The Non-Fat Yogurt" | Not Clean | h word, f word (bleeped, but part of plot), mention of sex with oreos |
| 8 | "The Barber" | Clean | |
| 9 | "The Masseuse" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Cigar Store Indian" | Not Clean | |
| 11 | "The Conversion" | Almost Clean | lots of making out |
| 12 | "The Stall" | Not Clean | phone sex |
| 13 | "The Dinner Party" | Not Clean | "s. o. b." (as initials) in opening monologue, buying dirty magazine and reading from it |
| 14 | "The Marine Biologist" | Clean | |
| 15 | "The Pie" | Not Clean | |
| 16 | "The Stand-In" | Not Clean | |
| 17 | "The Wife" | Almost Clean | gf sleeping w/Jerry |
| 18-19 | "The Raincoats" | Not Clean | |
| 20 | "The Fire" | Clean | |
| 21 | "The Hamptons" | Not Clean | |
| 22 | "The Opposite" | Almost Clean | "are you sure you don't want to come up?", "sex with cleaning woman" and "moving in together" |
| Season 6 | |||
| 1 | "The Chaperone" | Almost Clean | opening bit mentions sex, "oh shut the <bleep> up," mention of sleeping with our country's enemy's leader |
| 2 | "The Big Salad" | Almost Clean | d word in final line of show |
| 3 | "The Pledge Drive" | Clean | man thought to be gay, people giving "the finger" |
| 4 | "The Chinese Woman" | Not Clean | |
| 5 | "The Couch" | Almost Clean | references abortion |
| 6 | "The Gymnast" | Not Clean | |
| 7 | "The Soup" | Clean | |
| 8 | "The Mom & Pop Store" | Clean | |
| 9 | "The Secretary" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Race" | Almost Clean | George "lost his virginity" |
| 11 | "The Switch" | Not Clean | |
| 12 | "The Label Maker" | Not Clean | |
| 13 | "The Scofflaw" | Clean | |
| 14-15 | "The Highlights of 100" | ||
| 16 | "The Beard" | Not Clean | |
| 17 | "The Kiss Hello" | Not Clean | |
| 18 | "The Doorman" | Almost Clean | |
| 19 | "The Jimmy" | Not Clean | |
| 20 | "The Doodle" | Not Clean | |
| 21 | "The Fusilli Jerry" | Not Clean | |
| 22 | "The Diplomat's Club" | Not Clean | |
| 23 | "The Face Painter" | Almost Clean | |
| 24 | "The Understudy" | Almost Clean | One brief groping incident in the car with Mr. Costanza - skippable |
| Season 7 | |||
| 1 | "The Engagement" | Almost Clean | unmarried couple in bed, 1 omg |
| 2 | "The Postponement" | Not Clean | scene with discussion of make up sex and conjugal visits |
| 3 | "The Maestro" | Almost Clean | makeout session, lawyer uses d word at least three times |
| 4 | "The Wink" | Not Clean | |
| 5 | "The Hot Tub" | Not Clean | bastards, SOBs, hell |
| 6 | "The Soup Nazi" | Clean | |
| 7 | "The Secret Code" | Clean | |
| 8 | "The Pool Guy" | Almost Clean | mention of women tickling each other in underwear |
| 9 | "The Sponge" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Gum" | Not Clean | |
| 11 | "The Rye" | Not Clean | |
| 12 | "The Caddy" | Not Clean | |
| 13 | "The Seven" | Almost Clean | 1 reference to sex |
| 14-15 | "The Cadillac" | Not Clean | engaged couple living together, affair, reference to sex |
| 16 | "The Shower Head" | Almost Clean | 2 references to sex |
| 17 | "The Doll" | Almost Clean | Couple kissing in bed |
| 18 | "The Friars Club" | Not Clean | |
| 19 | "The Wig Master" | Not Clean | |
| 20 | "The Calzone" | Clean | |
| 21-22 | "The Bottle Deposit" | Clean | |
| 23 | "The Wait Out" | Not Clean | |
| 24 | "The Invitations" | Almost Clean | death |
| Season 8 | |||
| 1 | "The Foundation" | Clean | |
| 2 | "The Soul Mate" | Clean | Vasectomies integral to the plot |
| 3 | "The Bizarro Jerry" | Clean | |
| 4 | "The Little Kicks" | Almost Clean | mentions film with excessive sexual content |
| 5 | "The Package" | Not Clean | |
| 6 | "The Fatigues" | Clean | |
| 7 | "The Checks" | Clean | |
| 8 | "The Chicken Roaster" | Almost Clean | "you should sleep with him" |
| 9 | "The Abstinence" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Andrea Doria" | Clean | |
| 11 | "The Little Jerry" | Not Clean | |
| 12 | "The Money" | Not Clean | |
| 13 | "The Comeback" | Not Clean | |
| 14 | "The Van Buren Boys" | Almost Clean | Jerry talks about spending the weekend with his gf |
| 15 | "The Susie" | Almost Clean | fine until Mr. Pederman's comments at the memorial service toward the end |
| 16 | "The Pothole" | Almost Clean | scene w/ gf&bf in bathrobes |
| 17 | "The English Patient" | Almost Clean | |
| 18 | "The Nap" | Almost Clean | using the mattress, dirty magazine |
| 19 | "The Yada Yada" | Not Clean | |
| 20 | "The Millennium" | Clean | body suit man |
| 21 | "The Muffin Tops" | Clean | |
| 22 | "The Summer of George" | Not Clean | |
| Season 9 | |||
| 1 | "The Butter Shave" | Almost Clean | d word, h word, mention of porn star |
| 2 | "The Voice" | Not Clean | |
| 3 | "The Serenity Now" | Not Clean | |
| 4 | "The Blood" | Not Clean | |
| 5 | "The Junk Mail" | Not Clean | |
| 6 | "The Merv Griffin Show" | Almost Clean | mention of sex w/gf |
| 7 | "The Slicer" | Almost Clean | some language |
| 8 | "The Betrayal" | Not Clean | |
| 9 | "The Apology" | Not Clean | |
| 10 | "The Strike" | Almost Clean | 3 d words, hot date and sheets joke |
| 11 | "The Dealership" | Clean | |
| 12 | "The Reverse Peephole" | Almost Clean | implied adulterous affair |
| 13 | "The Cartoon" | Not Clean | |
| 14 | "The Strongbox" | Not Clean | |
| 15 | "The Wizard" | Clean | |
| 16 | "The Burning" | Almost Clean | Elaine going to hell for having a good time w/ bf, gonorrhea |
| 17 | "The Bookstore" | Almost Clean | making out, d word |
| 18 | "The Frogger" | Not Clean | Jerry sleeps with gf to avoid serial killer |
| 19 | "The Maid" | Not Clean | see plot... |
| 20 | "The Puerto Rican Day" | Clean | mention of pregnant unmarried girl |
| 21 | "The Chronicle" | Not Clean | |
| 22 | "The Clip Show" | Not Clean | |
| 23-24 | "The Finale" | Not Clean | Part I is clean. |
