Sunday, August 15, 2021

Seinfeld episodes clean or not, ordered by season

In preparation for the release of Seinfeld on Netflix, I have revisited my list and am starting to fill out some more details. I have also decided to reorganize the list and order the episodes by season, rather than alphabetically. Enjoy!

Season 1  
1"The Seinfeld Chronicles"Almost Clean 
2"The Stake Out"Almost Cleanadult video discussed in first scene, Jerry calls himself a
3"The Robbery"Not Cleanopening routine about the middle finger, mention of sexual activity in the tub
4"Male Unbonding"Almost Clean worst words to hear are "who's bra is this?" 
5"The Stock Tip"Not Cleanweekend trip with gf
 Season 2  
1"The Ex-Girlfriend"Not Clean 
2"The Pony Remark"Almost Clean George mentions "never having sex again." 
3"The Jacket"Almost Clean Elaine's father says sob
4"The Phone Message"Not Cleangoing up for "coffee"
5"The Apartment"Not Clean 
6"The Statue"Almost Clean1 reference to sex
7"The Revenge"Not Clean Elaine flirts about being naked everywhere and sleeping around
8"The Heart Attack"Not Clean 
9"The Deal"Not Clean Plot revolves around Jerry and Elaine sleeping together after seeing porn 
10"The Baby Shower"Not Clean Mention of nudity and "lovin'" in play, nudity on TV 
11"The Chinese Restaurant"Almost Clean George describes fooling around with Tatiana 
12"The Busboy"Not Clean Plot with Elaine revolves around guy staying with her.
 Season 3  
1"The Note"Not Clean Plot with George revolves around him feeling something sexual when massaged by a man 
2"The Truth"Not Clean 
3"The Pen"Clean  
4"The Dog"Clean 
5"The Library"Not Clean 
6"The Parking Garage"Almost Clean Urinating in public, mention of "your mother is a whore" as the final punchline in last monologue. 
7"The CafĂ©"Clean 
8"The Tape"Not Clean Plot revolves around tape with erotic message on it 
9"The Nose Job"Not Clean 
10"The Stranded"Not Clean 
11"The Alternate Side"Not Clean h word, mention of sex with older man 
12"The Red Dot"Not Clean sex with the cleaning lady 
13"The Subway"Not Clean 
14"The Pez Dispenser"Almost Cleanmention of getting some "hand" 
15"The Suicide"Almost Cleanmention of swimsuit models nude, couple moving in together
16"The Fix-Up"Not Clean 
17"The Boyfriend"Not Clean what the h are you two talking about, d word, sex with tall women
18"The New Friend"Not Cleanpart 2 of above 
19"The Limo"Almost Clean a word
20"The Good Samaritan"Not Clean 
21"The Letter"Not Clean 
22"The Parking Space"Almost Cleana word
23"The Keys"Almost CleanKramer and girl in Jerry's bedroom, h word, Kramer flirting with truck driver
 Season 4  
1"The Trip (Part 1)"Almost cleanSkip the first scene
2"The Trip (Part 2)"Clean 
3"The Pitch"Almost Clean1 reference to masturbation 
4"The Ticket"Almost Clean1 reference to masturbation
5"The Wallet"Almost Cleansexual references
6"The Watch"Not Clean 
7"The Bubble Boy"Not Clean premise of unmarried couples travelling for the weekend, suggestion of Elaine sleeping naked with Jerry
8"The Cheever Letters"Not Clean 
9"The Opera"Clean  
10"The Virgin"Not Clean 
11"The Contest"Not Clean plot centers around masturbation 
12"The Airport"Almost Cleanmodel describes photoshoot
13"The Pick"Not Clean 
14"The Movie"Not Clean 
15"The Visa"Almost Clean1 reference to sex
16"The Shoes"Not Clean 
17"The Outing"Not Clean 
18"The Old Man"Not Clean 
19"The Implant"Not Clean  
20"The Junior Mint"Almost Cleanfemale body parts
21"The Smelly Car"Not Clean 
22"The Handicap Spot"Almost Cleans o b
23-24"The Pilot"Not Clean 
 Season 5  
1"The Mango"Not Clean 
2"The Puffy Shirt"Not Clean 
3"The Glasses"Almost Cleanone use of s o b in the last line of the show
4"The Sniffing Accountant"Not Clean 
5"The Bris"Not Clean 
6"The Lip Reader"Not Clean d word, mixing up six and sex 
7"The Non-Fat Yogurt"Not Clean h word, f word (bleeped, but part of plot), mention of sex with oreos
8"The Barber"Clean 
9"The Masseuse"Not Clean 
10"The Cigar Store Indian"Not Clean 
11"The Conversion"Almost Clean lots of making out 
12"The Stall"Not Cleanphone sex
13"The Dinner Party"Not Clean "s. o. b." (as initials) in opening monologue, buying dirty magazine and reading from it 
14"The Marine Biologist"Clean 
15"The Pie"Not Clean 
16"The Stand-In"Not Clean 
17"The Wife"Almost Cleangf sleeping w/Jerry
18-19"The Raincoats"Not Clean 
20"The Fire"Clean 
21"The Hamptons"Not Clean  
22"The Opposite"Almost Clean"are you sure you don't want to come up?", "sex with cleaning woman" and "moving in together"
 Season 6  
1"The Chaperone"Almost Clean opening bit mentions sex, "oh shut the <bleep> up,"  mention of sleeping with our country's enemy's leader
2"The Big Salad"Almost Clean d word in final line of show 
3"The Pledge Drive"Cleanman thought to be gay, people giving "the finger"
4"The Chinese Woman"Not Clean 
5"The Couch"Almost Clean references abortion 
6"The Gymnast"Not Clean 
7"The Soup"Clean 
8"The Mom & Pop Store"Clean 
9"The Secretary"Not Clean 
10"The Race"Almost CleanGeorge "lost his virginity"
11"The Switch"Not Clean  
12"The Label Maker"Not Clean 
13"The Scofflaw"Clean 
14-15"The Highlights of 100"  
16"The Beard"Not Clean  
17"The Kiss Hello"Not Clean 
18"The Doorman"Almost Clean 
19"The Jimmy"Not Clean 
20"The Doodle"Not Clean 
21"The Fusilli Jerry"Not Clean 
22"The Diplomat's Club"Not Clean 
23"The Face Painter"Almost Clean 
24"The Understudy"Almost CleanOne brief groping incident in the car with Mr. Costanza - skippable
 Season 7  
1"The Engagement"Almost Clean unmarried couple in bed, 1 omg
2"The Postponement"Not Clean scene with discussion of make up sex and conjugal visits 
3"The Maestro"Almost Cleanmakeout session, lawyer uses d word at least three times 
4"The Wink"Not Clean 
5"The Hot Tub"Not Clean bastards, SOBs, hell
6"The Soup Nazi"Clean 
7"The Secret Code"Clean 
8"The Pool Guy"Almost Clean mention of women tickling each other in underwear
9"The Sponge"Not Clean  
10"The Gum"Not Clean  
11"The Rye"Not Clean 
12"The Caddy"Not Clean 
13"The Seven"Almost Clean1 reference to sex
14-15"The Cadillac"Not Cleanengaged couple living together, affair, reference to sex
16"The Shower Head"Almost Clean 2 references to sex 
17"The Doll"Almost Clean Couple kissing in bed 
18"The Friars Club"Not Clean  
19"The Wig Master"Not Clean  
20"The Calzone"Clean 
21-22"The Bottle Deposit"Clean 
23"The Wait Out"Not Clean 
24"The Invitations"Almost Cleandeath
 Season 8  
1"The Foundation"Clean 
2"The Soul Mate"CleanVasectomies integral to the plot
3"The Bizarro Jerry"Clean 
4"The Little Kicks"Almost Cleanmentions film with excessive sexual content
5"The Package"Not Clean 
6"The Fatigues"Clean 
7"The Checks"Clean 
8"The Chicken Roaster"Almost Clean"you should sleep with him"
9"The Abstinence"Not Clean  
10"The Andrea Doria"Clean 
11"The Little Jerry"Not Clean 
12"The Money"Not Clean  
13"The Comeback"Not Clean 
14"The Van Buren Boys"Almost CleanJerry talks about spending the weekend with his gf
15"The Susie"Almost Cleanfine until Mr. Pederman's comments at the memorial service toward the end
16"The Pothole"Almost Cleanscene w/ gf&bf in bathrobes
17"The English Patient"Almost Clean 
18"The Nap"Almost Cleanusing the mattress, dirty magazine
19"The Yada Yada"Not Clean  
20"The Millennium"Cleanbody suit man
21"The Muffin Tops"Clean 
22"The Summer of George"Not Clean  
 Season 9  
1"The Butter Shave"Almost Cleand word, h word, mention of porn star
2"The Voice"Not Clean 
3"The Serenity Now"Not Clean  
4"The Blood"Not Clean 
5"The Junk Mail"Not Clean  
6"The Merv Griffin Show"Almost Clean mention of sex w/gf 
7"The Slicer"Almost Clean some language 
8"The Betrayal"Not Clean  
9"The Apology"Not Clean 
10"The Strike"Almost Clean3 d words, hot date and sheets joke
11"The Dealership"Clean  
12"The Reverse Peephole"Almost Cleanimplied adulterous affair
13"The Cartoon"Not Clean 
14"The Strongbox"Not Clean  
15"The Wizard"Clean  
16"The Burning"Almost Clean Elaine going to hell for having a good time w/ bf, gonorrhea
17"The Bookstore"Almost Clean making out, d word 
18"The Frogger"Not Clean Jerry sleeps with gf to avoid serial killer 
19"The Maid"Not Clean see plot... 
20"The Puerto Rican Day"Clean mention of pregnant unmarried girl 
21"The Chronicle"Not Clean  
22"The Clip Show"Not Clean 
23-24"The Finale"Not Clean Part I is clean.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Seinfeld episodes with/without objectionable content

Yes, there actually are clean episodes of Seinfeld. :) As I find more, I will add them.

See the latest updates here.

Clean Episodes

Almost Clean Episodes

Definitely Not Clean Episodes

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Family Friendly Seinfeld

Here are the episodes of Seinfeld that I have found that are family friendly (comments in parentheses). Anyone know of more? Feel free to comment with suggestions. Thanks.